Is it true that Manchester City does not want to pass the ball to Erling Haaland, a striker who scores all the goals? It sounds like that would be really silly, but we’ve taken a look and the answer is, in fact, yes. It’s true.

Once you remove the goalkeepers (obviously) and the players who have only played a handful of minutes, you are left with just four who receive fewer passes per 90 minutes than City’s goal-hungry automaton.

If we tell you that three of those four are Jamie Vardy, Diego Costa and Brennan Johnson, we promise you that you could have 200 tries and not identify the fourth. Test it. Without cheats

10. Angelo Ogbonna (West Ham) – 19.5 passes received per 90
Genuinely staggered only one Moyesballer scratches in the top 10.

9. Yoane Wissa (Brentford) – 19.3
This is definitely a player who should receive the ball more often. But we’re not going to tell Brentford or Thomas Frank how to go about their business. Little hint to the previous poser for the non-cheaters out there. He is not the last Brentford player. You still won’t get it.

8. Adam Armstrong (Southampton) – 19.2
We don’t mean to be cruel, but some of these are more understandable than others. Although perhaps Armstrong would have more than one goal and one assist from 21 appearances this season if punctures gave him the ball from time to time. Something to think about anyway.

7. Cheikhou Kouyate (Nottingham Forest) – 18.8
He’s slightly more than Dean Henderson (17.7) in what we just discovered is our favorite game. We have a sad and pathetic life.

6. Callum Wilson (Newcastle) – 17.7
At least it’s significantly more than their keeper, with Nick Pope just under 10 passes received for 90. Not something Haaland can say because Ederson gets a whopping 23.3 for 90. They really pass everyone but Haaland.

5. Erling Haaland (Manchester City) – 17.4
It’s completely ridiculous when combined with that ridiculous number of goals. And remember, he is producing these little numbers in a Manchester City that makes all the passes. They have completed 14,445 passes this season, almost 3,000 more than the second most passive team in the league, which is, oddly enough, Chelsea. City complete 601.9 passes every 90 minutes, meaning less than three per cent of their passes go to the isolated record-breaking great Norwegian.

4. Mads Roerslev (Brentford) – 17.0
I told you. Poor Mads. Why don’t the other guys like him?

3. Brennan Johnson (Nottingham Forest) – 15.6
He is doing quite useful things with those few passes he receives, mind you. Not exactly Haaland’s doing, but five goals and two assists for a comfortable mid-table Forest is absolutely fine for the 21-year-old.

2. Diego Costa (Wolves) – 15.4
Those 15.4 passes per 90 minutes have produced 0.0 goals and 0.0 assists per 90 minutes, numbers that still follow his record for yellow cards (0.26) and red cards (0.13).

1. Jamie Vardy (Leicester) – 12.1
Vardy has only caught 160 passes from his Leicester teammates this season and has little to show for them. Danny Ward has only one goal less than Vardy, but to be fair, he’s received over 400 passes, so he should probably stick the finger out.


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